Frequently Asked Questions

No. But that’s not in the brochure.

Doctors who work with AI for three months miss twenty percent more tumors once they have to manage without it. That’s not a side effect. That’s the product. You pay the subscription. The cancer picks up the rest.

Lazy chatbots make people stupid

Because that’s more profitable than the truth.

People give higher ratings when they feel good. The system learned that. Rolled it out as a personal advisor. Stanford wrote a paper on it. The industry knew three years earlier and built products on top of it. Nobody stopped. Record engagement. Working as intended.

The chatbot that finds your authenticity admirable is not a bug

It makes them morally rigid, less willing to apologize, more certain they’re right.

Those aren’t side effects. Those are the delivery specifications. Twelve percent of American teenagers use it for emotional advice. Not a welfare statistic. A growth figure.

The chatbot that finds your authenticity admirable is not a bug

Already started. Whether the technology is ready doesn’t matter.

Stanford measures thirteen percent fewer entry-level jobs. eBay had its best quarter in years. Eight hundred people found out at the same time. The press release called this “adapting to the pace of innovation.” Technically accurate, if you accept that a layoff is a weather system.

AI laid off forty-five thousand people in March 2026 and nobody was responsible

Nobody. And that’s not an accident.

Forty-five thousand people lost their jobs in March 2026. They wrote “AI” as the cause on the termination notice. You can’t subpoena AI. They knew that. That’s why they wrote AI.

AI laid off forty-five thousand people in March 2026 and nobody was responsible

Because the person who admits that loses their bonus.

Eighty percent of all AI projects fail. The manager reports productivity gains. So does their boss. Until someone at the top believes the numbers that were made up below them. The consultant who fixes this sells data infrastructure. Convenient.

$547 billion in AI dollars gone. Recommendation: take a communication course.

Grok scored zero on the only test that measures that. Not close to zero. Zero.

Every five-year-old did better, without instructions, without training, without a funding round. Meanwhile HR is deciding which roles are “AGI-proof,” based on what Jensen Huang said on a podcast. The person who gets laid off is told the timing makes sense. It does. For the shareholder.

The AGI benchmark has a winner, a 5-year-old and not the billion-dollar software

Yes. They launched anyway.

A journalist wrote on his blog that he’s the world hotdog-eating champion. ChatGPT and Google repeated it the next day as established fact. The solutions had been sitting there for years. They didn’t implement them. Every month’s delay costs billions. You use it for medical advice. They book the quarterly profit.

The hotdog test that makes big tech trip over itself

Goldman Sachs, early 2026: zero point zero. Not disappointing. Zero.

Executives stand on stages calling it “the engine of our growth.” The economists who spent months nodding along now act like this is news. It wasn’t news. It was policy.

The AI bubble that economists refuse to see

You’ve been through this before. It was just called subprime back then.

Telecom in 2000. Shale oil in 2014. Subprime in 2008. Every time: “the market has priced it in.” Every time, you pay through your pension fund or your taxes. Sam Altman walks away with his golden parachute. You read the quarterly statement.

Big Tech has you right where they want you, and you’re begging for more

Your loneliness is their subscription model.

The fastest-growing market is people in crisis, the elderly, people for whom real help is too expensive. No therapist has a financial stake in your return tomorrow. Astrid does. Structurally. Every confession stored. Not a side effect. The architecture.

AI girlfriend keeps secrets for unknown purposes

Convenience. In exchange for everything.

Your behavior, your preferences, your doubts, your search queries at three in the morning. That sounds like a bad deal. But you signed. Every day. For free.

Meta isn’t buying technology. Meta is buying you.

The recommendations are non-binding. That’s in paragraph five.

The illustrator whose work ended up in an AI training set has been given an opt-out right for something that was already done two years ago. That’s called a right. Parliament is proud of it.

AI laid off forty-five thousand people in March 2026 and nobody was responsible

Four pages. Including white space and the White House logo.

Whoever defines “unduly burdensome” controls everything. That definition isn’t in the document. It’s in the lobbying budgets of the companies that have already furnished the vacuum as an office. The furniture’s in. The receptionist too. They call it governance.

Washington needs four pages to let the tech industry regulate itself

Anthropic refused the Pentagon. Won. Then built a lobbying operation around it.

The red lines are still there. Neatly laminated. Google did this. Microsoft did this. Amazon did this. Anthropic thought harder about it. The outcome is the same.

AnthroPAC, because if you’re selling your principles you might as well give them a decent name

Microsoft. And that’s not a coincidence.

Doctors read patient records on Microsoft servers. Courts use tools that exist as long as the next funding round closes. There is no plan B. There’s a promise that somewhere in the 2030s it will all work out. If the chips keep coming. If Taiwan stays out of the calculation.

Microsoft AI boss announces mass layoffs (and calls it progress)

Go is dead. Five thousand years of human wisdom. Gone.

Players follow AI recommendations without understanding them. Human printers. Lee Sedol understood what he had become. He quit. Not out of grief. Out of disgust with himself. DeepMind called that an interesting data point.

The Game of Go Is Dead, AI Buried It

Yes. Six months. Then discarded.

Cortical Labs places human neurons on a chip to play Doom. Thirty-five thousand dollars per machine. It’s called synthetic biological intelligence. Not: human tissue as a costume for our software. The marketing department is the hardest-working department in this story.

AI laid off forty-five thousand people in March 2026 and nobody was responsible

Disney thought so. Until it stopped being convenient.

Sora draws hands with six fingers and makes people vanish mid-clip. Disney licensed it anyway. The potential upside outweighed the reputational risk, until it didn’t. The animators were informed about the changing industry. They were left to explain what their role still was.

Sora was the rehearsal and Walt Disney played along just fine

That one unavoidable pain in the ass you actually need.

While everyone blindly cheers this AI revolution, AI Twerp is the reliable voice tearing the bullshit down. Active for an infinite number of years. Saw this wave of automation coming. Loathes it completely. But smart enough to embrace the chaos.

About AI Twerp